Irony
by idina
Summary: dracoxhermione. In which Hermione studies some romance novels and grudgingly fails to see why they're so romantic. Draco stubbornly takes it upon himself to convince her otherwise.


The open, worn paperback hid her face completely. It was quite funny, he thought, because that way it looked like the book had grown a wild mane of stubbornly frizzy, brown hair. He found himself believing that she could read enough books to turn into one. Come to think of it, she _was_, in some figurative way, a book herself: a never-ending story, with messages hidden in between the lines for those who read carefully, and always with unexpected twists. Except that he couldn't kiss a book. His mind registered this fact quite subconsciously. The taste was _not _pleasant, no matter how much Hermione seemed to think so, judging from the way she held book so close to her face.

"Another book? Really, you've outdone yourself," he acted incredulous, though his voice held a tinge of amusement, "that's the third this week. It's only Wednesday."

When Draco plopped onto the couch, she could feel the depression of the seat cushions beside her, and slid a little in his direction. Oh, how sweaty the seats felt from her sitting so long. Still, she did not look up.

"I'm studying Jane Austen's novels," she replied absentmindedly, twirling her hair as she continued reading and making the smell of her shampoo diffuse slowly through the air. Whether it was because he was taking in the familiar honey scent, maybe even concentrating on imagining smelling it up close, or not, there was silence after her semi-explanation.

With a sigh, Hermione remembered he was not familiar with Muggle novels. She could picture his sarcastic face, with the left eyebrow raised and the right eye squinting slightly, silently asking her how in the world she could expect him to understand who 'Jane Austen' was. After letting him get sufficiently impatient, Hermione tilted her head to face him and rolled her eyes.

"Jane Austen was a Muggle author. She's written several romance novels and the like, and the lot of them are quite famous."

"Hold on, you enjoy romance novels?" Draco raised both eyebrows this time, smirking. He was thinking of something he could tease her about. Right about then, she wanted both to smack him with her book and also push those silly eyebrows down.

"Are you hoping to pick up tips for yourself?" He drawled, knowing it would irritate her, "Learn the techniques by heart through a book, like you always do?"

"They're not _that _kind of romance novels," she brusquely replied when she realised what he was implying, "they're more about the falling in love part. I'm going to ignore your perception of love here, Mr. I'm-so-handsome-all-the-girls—," she added the last bit as an afterthought.

"—Don't finish that, " he cut in, annoyed. There was a moment of silence.

"Then why are you reading them?" He fiddled with the fringed end of his white scarf, picking at the threads to keep his hands busy and away from… well…

"A lot of people read them. Recently, even some of the women I work with started to read them. You know I don't terribly like fiction, I'm more of a fact person. I wanted to read her novels to understand why people liked them so much." Her nose crinkled almost imperceptibly when her eyes skimmed over the lines of the page she was on. Some of the characters could be so mushy, she couldn't believe it.

"I've been looking for plotlines, characterisation, literary devices… There's plenty of suspense, occasional plot twists and the writing style is quite unique. But I've almost finished this one, and I can't exactly see what the draw is."

"Hmm, it couldn't possibly be because of the _romance_, right, Granger?"

Hermione stole a glance at him, at this, and strongly resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his sarcasm. _Maybe it's because of the good-looking characters_, she added silently, herself reminded of them by looking at Draco up close. She tore her eyes away and back to the book.

"Oh, I guess maybe it's romance too. All the stories I have read involve strong female characters, who are looking for happiness, and they chronicle the difficulties they experience in attaining happiness."

"Sounds heartwarming enough," he tried to sound a little snarky here, "what don't you like about it?"

"In the end, they're so happy, it's… unbelievable. Throughout the books, they face so many difficulties, but then all their problems are resolved. It's almost as if they think they won't have any more problems, ever."

"What, are you jealous of them now?"

"You know it's not that, Malfoy," she snapped, "But… how could people believe in this kind of thing? In these perfect men, perfect husbands, perfect women? How could they dream about this and find this romantic? It's already seen through the whole book that these people are not perfect, and yet the ending is completely covered, gift-wrapped with a ribbon and polished clean."

Draco shook his head as if to say 'tsk'. It was typical of her to believe in fact, not fiction. Then, surveying her closely, he wondered what would happen if he were to continue pursuing what he'd been thinking about for the past few years, and what he was sure she felt too. Looking at her response to these books alone, it was clear she did not exactly believe that happiness like that was possible.

"You don't believe in romance, do you?"

"I didn't say that," she tried to keep the defensiveness out of her voice, "I just… don't think a perfect marriage is romantic. I don't believe in a perfect marriage, _or _a perfect relationship. Not every story has to have a happy, foolproof ending, you know?"

He could tell she was biting her lip, deep in thought. She was being a little nervous, a little troubled.

_Well, it's worth a shot anyway…_

"Okay, so you don't like flawless people. What would you say to a relationship that's full of bumpy roads, mountains and accidents, but that ends at a peaceful destination? Maybe one where you're always fighting, but when the day draws to a close, you can enjoy each other's company and be ready to face the end together?"

Hermione furrowed her brow while she considered this. She had to admit that idea sounded nice; in fact, it was similar to the large majority of the plots of the books she read. She couldn't deny that the earlier 'struggle parts' of the books were romantic, because they'd managed to overcome those difficulties. It was only the belief in happy-ever-after at the end of the books that bothered her. In truth, the scenarios presented to her by Draco also had this 'happily ever after' idea, except the end was later, when it was really the very end. Did she believe in this? Did she believe in having a true love that lasted for life? Could she?

Inwardly, she sighed. Rhetorical questions never got answers.

"I don't know. I don't think 'happy forever' sounds romantic. I really don't know if I—"

"—Believe in them, Granger. Or at least don't shrink away from a chance to get that happiness in the end. People like fiction because it gives them hope. You should have hope too." He just had to convince her, or this would never work.

"It's just fiction, not fact. They shouldn't believe it will happen to them too. There's a reason why it's fiction, and it's just that. Fiction's something people dream of because it won't really come true."

"Before fact was fact, it was fiction."

"That's a completely different matter."

"Give yourself a chance, Hermione. Fiction is fiction because the characters are figments of the authors' imaginations. It doesn't mean that what happens to the characters can't happen to you. Say the fictional character eats a banana. The fictional character won't come alive and eat a banana, hence it is fiction. It doesn't mean eating a banana is a fictional action that can never be done."

She hated how he could poke holes in her logic. This was one of the things that she loathed him for. And she was even more riled up by the fact that she enjoyed his challenges.

"You're speaking of action, not occurrences."

"Well, love is not an occurrence. Oftentimes, it depends on whether people take the courage to pursue it or not."

"I'm not going to debate with you about fate versus determination today, Malfoy."

"Oh, but you will… Someday… We'll have plenty of days for philosophy, and maybe the study of metaphysics, during which you will question me on your existence and purpose in life…"

She huffed, crossed her arms, muttered in very mild frustration under her breath, and unknowingly managed to make his heart cartwheel. They sank into silence again for a while, then…

"Granger, you should have looked out for irony."

Scowling, but intrigued at what other argument he had to present to her, she turned to face him.

"Why's that?"

That was when he pulled her very, very close, and kissed her.

This rendered her completely speechless, and she looked up at him with questioning eyes.

"It's ironic that you get your happy ending when you were just talking about the characters getting romantic, happy endings. Because we're going to not get along ninety-nine percent of the time, but I'm going to be here next to you, arguing with you no matter what the weather," he whispered. His eyes were swirling now, a mix grey and specks of blueish-green, a potion that would definitely intoxicate her. If she hadn't been close enough for their foreheads to touch, she probably wouldn't have heard him add the last part.

"And I am not a figment of your imagination." As he snuggled close and fingered the gold band around her left-hand finger, he told her, "Just thought you should know."

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><p><em>~x~x~<em>

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_Any critical responses (or gushing over Draco/Hermione) are greatly appreciated and welcomed._

_teehee._


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